Saturday Morning, November 9, 2019
Who put the Quo in Quid?
In a recent discovery, Professor Quentin Quigley, Emeritus Deuteronomy, an academician sporting more degrees than a clinical thermometer, more honorary stripes than a zebra, has announced a novel direction for the scientific term Homo Sapiens. Collegiate colleagues have gathered in concerned consternation. But our genus has always been based on the Latin word sapere, they quipped, extrapolated from the present participle form meaning wise. Every savvy savant knows this. It's UNDERSTOOD. It's what we are! But among the IQ's, one endearing don spoke.
Tiffany & Co. sterling fish knife.
A bear eats his salmon with claws. A troglodyte with his fingers. But the Homo Sapidus, oh the splendor.
Does the fish taste the same to each one? Certainly not. Presentation is the Homo Sapidus's secret recipe.
Don't be so quick against Quentin. He may sound quacky, but please listen to his quandary. There may be logic in his quirkiness. And so, the trap was set, rocks held high, waiting for Professor Quentin Quigley to quake in his quagmire.
A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Why?
But he spoke not. The pause meant to disarm. Seconds passed, then minutes. Rocks on high slowly lowered, then dropped to the ground, silence more powerful than words. Here, here Quigley. Explain us your quarrel. The kindly professor bowed his head then looked up. Let us quantify this qualm. The crowd shifted on its feet. One could say quasi-objectively? Quentin smiled then continued. I have recently discovered an extant Latin quarto, one quite questionable, except for one partial quad. The "e" after the "p" is really an "i." No sapere here. A collective breath quelled the quotidian. Change was felt in the quartering wind. That "i" gives us another word, although still sharing a Latin root. The academicians leaned forward. And the word Quentin? Silence begged the answer. Sapidus, he said. Sapidus? His smile broadened. Yes we are Homo Sapidus. That's us.
Cartier sterling candy dish.
The traditionally set formal dining table, now suffering extinction of its own, epitomizes the height of the Homo Sapidus lifestyle. Somehow, food always tasted better served on silver. A ritual begging evolution's cruel lesson.
Sapid, echoed one sage. Good taste, translated another. Pleasant taste, corrected another. A flair for living, added another. Yes, oh yes, we like this very much. It's the quo in quid. Our Rosetta stone. This we humans certainly are! The quibble calmed. The queasiness eased. Here, here Quentin, that's quadrillion. You are no Quixote, no indeed. You are a shining quark.
Who put the "E" in Evolution?
Homo Sapidus is the only branch of genus homo who has survived through evolution, all others swallowed in time. But why? Did intelligence propel us forward? Did cleverness clear the gameboard? Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps the true reason is we have never been satisfied with a status quo. We tired from hanging on branches, so we built treehouses, furnished by Parisian designers. We never liked eating woolly mammoth, so we raised Angus, grass fed, no steroids. Fire in a cave? Really? Try central heat. We enjoy a flair for living. This is who we are. One model iPhone? Try eighteen. An oxen cart? Squeeze into a Porsche Carrera. Walk behind a Conestoga wagon to LA? Jets leave every hour from Newark Liberty. Along this evolutionary time line, Homo Sapidus has
Tiffany & Co. sterling sipper straws.
What a trail we are leaving for our descendants. Somewhere, in the distant future, along a wind swept ridge, archaeologists will uncover our detritus and proclaim, these Homo Sapidus knew how to live.
skipped. The moment we stood erect, we ran. Life is for living. We have cured more ills, fed more people, and have saved countless lives from pure drudgery. We are only contained by our imagination. Not a bad flaw at all. We just keep moving forward. Quid pro Quo? Try Quo Vadis. Us. The enlightened. The progressive. The Homo Sapidus.
We return Saturday to celebrate our human frame of reference.
Doors open at 8 AM. Auction starts at 9 AM. PA AU 1265L [bb]